Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
