So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
