woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think I just sharted jello shots
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