so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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