if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
