i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
