Whoa Z and x make the same sound
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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