I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
