i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
