Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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