Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
