I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
