Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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