There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
