Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
