so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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