I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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