Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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