New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
