that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
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