well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
