It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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