my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
