I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
