I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think my nap took me to another dimension
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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