I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
