it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
