the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
