just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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