Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she peed on how many people?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
