Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
