she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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