i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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