So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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