Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
