Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
