Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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