after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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