I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
