But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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