Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
