I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
someone owes me an orgasm
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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