PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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