respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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