Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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