the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
