Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
