I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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