I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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