You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
