Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
