i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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